“Are you sure that’s your name sir?”

That is a quote that I (kid you not) have heard on several phone conversations (usually with companies, credit, cell phone, insurance, etc). Umm… let me think, No I’m not sure if it’s my name … but let me look on my license just to double-check. I should also mention that I go on hold for at least 15 minutes afterwards because (I presume) people think I am prank calling them.

Say what you may … shit … I still have a cool name.

Today, it came to my attention that I have a new nickname. This is nothing new to me; I am probably one of the most nick-named/ name-joke prone people in America. My Morning Coffee mug reads: “Nafie Nafie” on one side and “Coffee Coffee” on the other (Thank you E.H. … I love that mug, and use it every single day!).

Having the same First Name and Last Name is something I’ve gotten used to. You’re vulnerable to a barrage of jokes, nicknames; yeah-ok … funny (not really) … move on. Most of them are so lame and corny, that they sorta miss the point. Come on people, you can do better than that!

To make matters a bit trickier, I usually separate “My Two … Names?” (you think I can pitch that to TV? The one with the ‘Dads’ in the title seemed to work) with my middle initial (O) for … dramatic effect. This has worked my way most of the time. In high school though, I had a teacher who coined the following joke (and thought it was the greatest thing ever):

Q: What does Nafie’s mom say to him when he’s done something bad?
A: (The whole class collectively while shaking their heads) Nafie, O. Nafie.

And in the spirit of the looming St. Patrick’s Day … When the Irish wanna claim me, they can go ahead and turn into a Nafie O’Nafie. (I know, I know, even my own name jokes are lame).


But Today Ladies and Gentlemen, Today … I heard possibly the ‘coolest’ of all “name-related-jokes”. Well, it’s not really a joke, but more like another nickname. This is so brilliant that even I, the subject … enjoy it. In fact, this is one of the smartest nicknames anyone has ever given me. All credit goes to Mr. R.M. who ironically; denies coming up with the nickname.

I thank you for your depth, provoking vision and most of all I thank you for your subtlety.

Sincerely,

- “Ditto”

Think about that one.