It’s the Lil’ one and it’s not Bow-Wow

(nor Jon, nor Cease, nor Wayne, nor Flip, nor Troy nor Romeo, nor Zane, nor O, nor Blackey, nor …)

First of all, this is a very serious matter, and even though I almost always pick/prefer Foxy over Kim (The Brown Fox usually has better comebacks) … I would like to be the first to start saying: Free KIM! Free KIM!

Here’s what happened (My comments are not intended as stabs/jokes at Lil’ Kim. They are solely directed at the writing style/ choice of words of the news report … it honestly sounds like a 90+ year old grandma from Wyoming is the author – no offense to the journalist):

Grammy-winning hip-hop star Lil' Kim, known for her revealing outfits and raunchy raps, has been convicted of lying to a federal grand jury about a shootout outside a radio station. She could get 20 years - a maximum of five years for each count - when she is sentenced on June 24.

Her bigger-than-rap status was cemented in 1999 when, while presenting an MTV award wearing a pasty over one exposed breast, co-presenter Diana Ross jiggled Kim's bare flesh. (Ah yes … you know your status gets cemented when Diana Ross jiggles your bare flesh. How does this make any sense? – Oh wait … was this the TITTIE incident? Can I say TITTIE in public? BREAST? Breast breast breast Hooter Hooter Bitties (Tig Ol’ ones) Breast Tit, Breast Tit, Tit, Tit, Breast, Breast, Breast, Breast, Tit, Nipple.


As B.I.G. became a superstar, Lil' Kim became "Queen Bee," the oversexed gangsta girl in his otherwise all-male clique. Her first album, 1996's "Hard Core," lived up to its title with its sexually explicit lyrics - and became a big hit, thanks to songs like "Crush On You" and others with unmentionable titles. (Oversexed ‘gangsta’ girl? Unmentionable? Like what? “Not Tonight”? “Big Momma Thang”? “No Time”? “Spend a Lil’ Doe”? "Drugs"?… need I list the whole album? … and ‘Crush on you’ wasn’t even that big of a hit … come on now).


She won a Grammy in 2001 for her part in the hit remake of "Lady Marmalade." Now she's probably headed to prison, adding a chapter to a remarkable life that already has produced an accredited Syracuse University course titled "The Life and Times of Lil' Kim." [That’s definitely a DOWNGRADE to go from winning a Grammy to “probably heading to prison” – AND Shit … where the hell was that class where I went to school? I had to take some BULLSHIT ass freshman English course – (grade: D-)]

So perjury is apparently ‘SOME SERIOUS SHIT' possibly a “CATASTROPHE” (refer to ‘Firefightin’ fool’). But a possible jail sentence of 20 years? You’ve got to be kidding son. I think that’s some bullshit. People ‘lie’ everyday, politicians lie every day (Clinton did it in court … umm … Perjury?) The News lie everyday -- why don’t they jail their ass?

So once again, Free Kim! Let her ass go. Shit.

Do you think Fox will take some stabs at this? I don't know why I am so fascinated by all this nonsense. Don't care to know.

'nuff said.


Note: Breasts.