Bamboozled

I just found out that for the past 8 months, I have been paying Digital Cable money for ‘standard’ cable. I feel so bamboozled and very duped. It was all a ‘terrible mistake’ of course and they were ‘very sorry’ for my inconvenience. Yeah, whatever … cut the bullshit and give me my money back. The bastards have been over-charging me for 8 months and after they ‘worked it out’ my credit is only $20.43 cents. 8 months … EIGHT months, Remember, I’m no mathematician but that only equates to something like 2 and a half dollars every month. Liars. Thieves. Bastards.

My discovery came when I called to pay my cable bill. After paying the bill I had an “Oh by the way…” addendum to the customer service lady. Oh by the way, I am not getting any channels above channel 47 (Comedy Central) … which means, I am missing out on The History Channel, The Discovery Channel (all of them), The Sci-Fi channel, VH1 among many others. So, I’m paying 101.00+ dollars every month for only 40 something channels (30 of which I’ve de-programmed from my remote browser). Furthermore, WHY is cable so expensive anyway? scripted television is up the river and all the reality shows going on are costing the networks significantly less. No?

She then asked me to do something to my cable box and this is how her cat got out of the bag:

-What Cable Box?
-Your Digital Cable Box.
- I don’t have a box, just a cluster-fuck of a remote control
-Oh
-Oh…

I really should have fussed more … but just wasn’t in the mood to. I was numb and tired and in a non-fussy state-of-mind. I’m actually not a big phone complainer. You know those people who whine “Who’s your manager? … Let me speak to them.” Boohoo Hoo what are you gonna do now? Cry to their superiors? Awwww… Just Get Over it and we all know that ‘superior’ only means “this guy to my left”.

Even though, in all honesty, I would much rather let them KEEP my money but get the satisfaction of cussing them out on the phone – I’ve never ‘lost control’ on the phone, I’ve been very close before but I always feel bad that the person I’m talking to is just “doing their job” and they’re not personally gaining … wait a minute … then why are they such ASSHOLES?

Bitch on the (Cable Company’s) line must think I’m like 12 years old -- talking to me with an attitude from hell. No need to get “ghetto” on me … I’m telling you what my problem is and asking you what my options are, you can either answer me or say I don’t know. I could just picture her eyes rolling at me (actually, I think they just stayed in the back of her head the whole time).

Some of those people are nice, but the majority of anyone on the phone/ customer service reps are really, really, reeeaally just pushing their luck and asking for it. I don’t suppose they’re trained that way? It could be – who knows. I realize that most of them have just developed ‘thorns’ or ‘thick skin’ because they deal with such ass-pains for customers. However, they should be able to differentiate between someone who’s looking for trouble and someone who just wants to watch Flava Flave and Brigitte Nielson get it on. The crappy customers will start with “I want my money back” or “I have a problem” or “I’m going to sue you.”

I’m always ‘nice’ though (until I come and blast them on my blog … but that’s kind of nice), I even repeat their name after my greeting (Good afternoon to you too ). I have it all worked out though… the next time I call, I’m going to “Para español, oprima numero dos.” Maybe those people will be nicer.

Note: I liked it better in Ohio when the cable company ‘forgot’ to disconnect the cable from the previous inhabitants of our place … in turn, we also ‘forgot’ to let them know about it.