Papa's Got A Brand New Bag

So … remember my Pink Fiasco? All the threads, all the gum, all the screwdrivers amounted to nothing; I was most saddened by the ill-effects inflicted on my OGIO hotness bag. Well, sad-no-more because ... “This Is A Man’s World” and “Papa’s Got ABrand New Bag” and “I Feel Good” about it -- so good, that I don’t have to wake-up in a “Cold Sweat” and can now finally “Get Up Offa That Thang” and “Get On The Good Foot” maybe even take the “Night Train” – so I suggest you “Please, Please, Please” sit back, relax grab a bag of “Mother Popcorn” and watch me be “Super Bad” with my new OGIO metro bag. Now all I need is a new pair of “Hot Pants” because “Papa Don’t Take No Mess” and if you “Think” otherwise … “Try Me”… I’ll “Make it Funky” and force you to either “Give It Up or Turnit A loose.”

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeyatch.

I’ve just been possessed by James Brown, now if I can only dance like the man … maybe I can get more dates. It could have been worse, my opening monologue could have been to the tune of Christina Aguilera, where I would have loved getting to tell you just how “Dirrty” I am … and how I’m exactly “What A Girl Wants” and … and … let’s not go through this again.

Let me just rub it in a little bit. Papa’s new OGIO ‘metro’ bag has a pretty nasty organizing system of compartments that are denoted by some even nastier iconographic hotness.

Audio Port: This is where you get to stick your headphones through a hole and keep your iPod safe and covered. What? What?
Laptop Sleeve: Yup, a place for my (work’s) laptop – My current laptop bag is OK, but in an old fashioned I’m-about-to-retire sort of way and it’s always just a little awkward to carry.
Organizer Panel: For all my screwdrivers and all – I think this might actually be air/water tight – which would make it a better place for my army of Pink Hi-liters or anything else that could potentially pose a leakage disaster.
Key Clip: To Clip "The Precious" to – although this weekend one of my goals is to clone “The Precious” … so maybe The Precious: The Second Coming …will live on this key clip.
Hydration System: Water, juice, potent potable, whatever rocks your boat … still can’t find this compartment though - but when I do, I’m hoping it will have a little straw coming out of somewhere.
Cell phone Pocket: YES, my poor and deteriorating Cell Phone with the non-functional ‘5’ button needs to be ‘eased’ into a nice comfortable retirement.

I’m such a gadget-whore and I love it. No wonder my ass is broke for the majority of the time. Consumerism, take me … for I am forever your bitch (yeah ... I took some Shakespeare) – I think my credit really sucks …however, this hot OGIO bag isn’t going on my credit, and because of that I send a very special ‘Thank You’ to a kind reader for sympathizing with my pink travesty.

Also, I got pink Hi-Liter on my:
BMW 745
PRINCE O3 racquet
WHIRLPOOL hot tub
APPLE iPod (the latest one, whatever the hell that is now… bitches)
HANZO samurai sword set
CANON SD500 7.2 Mega Pixel digital camera

And if anyone out there wants to hate … FINE … I should let you know that I will indeed die HAPPY buried in my ‘mountain of things’ so go ahead and tease me with your simple and meager ways.

Happy Friday.

Note: Now, if I can just get a can opener to open that damn Tuna … seriously. I would have went out to buy one, but not only am I not sure what store I would find a can-opener in but I’m more specifically not sure on which aisle I would find a can-opener.