Lucky Six

"I think I’d better let it go … looks like another (powerball) love T.K.O. … Oh … Think I better let it go … let it go baby … looks like another (powerball) love T.K.O."

So this Saturday the powerball joint was some ridiculous 250 million dollars. The sad part is for some reason I was convinced that I had a shot at it and went ahead and played. I obviously didn’t win … I wouldn’t be waking up this early and writing this entry (I probably would – who knows how I would start my morning if I just won 250 million dollars).

Maybe I would hire some good blog writers to write for me (under my name) … I would also throw in bonuses for every profanity they use. I would give extra points and (more bonuses) for anything SALACIOUS because after all, this is indeed a place for salaciousness. (see note)

Yeah, I didn’t win. I think someone actually won but am not entirely sure about that. Let’s check West Virginia’s newspapers … WHY does every HUGE jackpot go to West Virginians?! In the rare exception it goes to someone in FLORIDA. For fuck’s sake … does anyone else see how disturbed and a little crazy Florida is? ANYTHING ‘weird’ happening in the news is in Florida … stuff that makes you say WHAT THE FUCK?

I’m going to go ahead and become a suspect in the murder of my ex-girlfriend … and then jot on over to Atlanta and STAY ON TOP OF A CRANE FOR 56 HOURS. Maybe then I could have the proverbial karma coming back around to AT LEAST allow me a shot at 250 Million dollars.

In all seriousness though, I want to bring up the fact that I’m realizing it’s not ‘normal’ to be as convinced as I am of winning the lottery. Don’t worry, rest assured that I don’t have the (initial) funds to turn this into a serious gambling ‘problem’ – but the whole bird in the hand and two in the bush thing doesn’t click with me (for more than one reason). I guess I see the benefit in taking the risk or “gambling” as some of you might crudely put it. Besides, doesn’t lottery money go to schools or something good?

As opposed to buying a bottle of soda or a Ho-Ho – Why not drink water and spend my dollar on a powerball ticket, which in the worst case scenario is a contribution to public schooling or irrigation or some such profound thing. My favorite part of it all is how I look down on the baby jackpots. After someone wins, it usually resets to such ‘chump change’ … and I ain’t no chump … I don’t play the 10 million dollar ones. 100 million and above ONLY.

Fellow beggars, brokes and losers … I urge you to become Choosers and raise your standard when it comes to how much money you would win from a jackpot.

Note: Thank you for the ride to the metro station, you are incredibly stunning and also a neuro-surgeon in training?!?! Wow. The climax of small talk came during your description of Mariah Carey (over the track playing in the background): “Yes I like the album, I’m a big fan of hers no matter what – even when she’s all SALACIOUS and showing everybody her tits.” So to be honest, I have never heard someone drop the word ‘SALACIOUS’ in a conversation before. Good job! Thanks again.