Se7en

Aside from being a great movie ‘SEVEN’ is today’s subject of my aim. I mean the actual number. Seven used to be my ‘favorite’ number or ‘lucky’ number or whatever the hell you want to call it, until I realized how played out it is. WHY is seven EVERYWHERE? My reason for liking it is I was born on the SEVENTH day of 1983. Whoop-tee fucking doo - could I have thought of a more (self-admitted) lame reason for attaching myself to a number? Don’t think so – Although I must say it has snuck up on me at the strangest times, and for some reason I can attribute and relate many distinct recollections back to the number 7.

What about our cultural obsession with ‘7’?

SEVEN … days of the week. They all suck except for Friday and Saturday. The other 5 should be castrated.

SEVEN … dwarfs. I’m quite possibly the only person who can’t name all of the seven dwarfs. In retrospect that “Snow White “ fairy tale is quite disturbing. You KNOW those old men were horny at some point during the story and well … Snow White was hot, with her “rosy” cheeks and fair skin. Maybe I should forward all my TADALAFIL soft-tab emails so they can do more than make her porridge. If this were Anna Nicole Smith, Bitch would have fucked them all and took everything down to their red hats and leather moccasins. Ah… the good old days when girls weren’t gold diggers.

SEVEN … deadly sins. I don’t understand how there came to be Seven sins. If it has something to do with religion – then there should be 10 sins? One for breaking every commandment. No? If it’s not a religious thing … well, there’s a shit load more than 7 sins – I’ve just committed about eight or so in the 15 minutes I’ve been awake.

SEVEN … seas. This one is for all the mopey (is that a dwarf?) and whiney (this one?) R&B singers to make rhymes with. Every R&B singer has “traveled the seven seas” for one reason or another. My question to them is, if you lose your girl and happen to meet a coincidentally man-less Toni Braxton in the Adriatic Sea … why don’t the both of you call the search off and go engage in some inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body, otherwise known to us non-whiners as Sin#4, Lust.

SEVEN … world wonders. Are there still 7 or have they declared an eighth one? If so, let’s hope it won’t be too hard for Bush to wipe one out in the name of national-you-know-what, oil or at the very least, faulty intelligence … you know, so that my post still makes sense.

SEVEN ... days to make the world. Six of those Seven days were spent laying out the trap-hole that is Washington D.C’s streets. God should have pulled an all-nighter for that one.

SEVEN … orders of architecture. Classical, Doric, Ionic … and … I slept through the last 4 because History of Architecture was an absolute pain in the ass. I must admit it was actually the most interesting boring-class ever. Hence why I went there and slept (as opposed to blowing-off an easy to blow-off 8 a.m.) To date, I think this is one of the best uses of the “buddy system”: "Yo, wake me up when there’s a cool slide."

I guess there are many more cultural/ social references so I’m just listing some other ones I can think of:

The seven years of famine, the seven years of plenty.
The Seven ancient planets
The Seven Hills of Rome (not sure about this one, is it 7 or 5?)
The Seven Sisters
Seven, the sum of opposing dice faces
The Seven Arts/ Sciences

And so on …

Last but not least, SEVEN (dollars) is also the average cost of my lunch daily.

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