Sick's

I read some online article about The Seattle Pilots … Seattle’s baseball pride and joy circa (1969?). The team has an interesting story of rise and fall, triumph and tribulation. The (famous) Sick’s stadium was apparently their home field … where they did their thing.

Before I go any further talking about this (which I will not), I want to say my peace about Baseball. What a sorry sport. What a lame, sorry and should-be-eradicated sport and I don’t understand why so many people are into it. I would rather watch golf for hours than sit through a single inning of (boring) baseball. Rest assured that the government and media spotlights on the sport have in no-way formed my opinions, they’ve only reinforced them.

Firstly, WHY is every single baseball “highlight” the same??? Sports Center’s “Top Ten Plays” always has about 5 baseball plays … and ALL of them involve someone jumping/ reaching for a ball that everyone thinks is going in the stands. OK- we fucking get it, they can catch the would-be home runs … it’s obviously not that hard since it happens so often.

Other sports suffer because of this. I’m sure there are plenty of other sporting highlights that deserve spots in the “Top Ten Plays” reel. BUT NO. There’s NO more room because they’re too busy showing us that fat baseball guys can indeed jump.

Why are they all seemingly so out-of-shape? This is supposed to be a physical sport. No? They run, dive (and jump) … and do somewhat athletic things. I think it’s offensive to athletes from other sports that you get Mr. Fat Joe making (equivalent, if not more) millions with a beer belly just because he can swing a bat hard enough to hit a ball.

CHEWING tobacco??? Are you fucking kidding me? Personally, I've only seen this in movies but I assume it’s only because I don’t watch enough ‘real’ games (because I hate it). If this is indeed true, then how deplorable, just picture that happening in any other sport. This is a supposed role model; anabolic steroids aside (let’s not even get into that) … if kids are watching you don’t act like a fucking balloon.

I personally find it very funny when the (average) American looks down on soccer as a “wussy” sport. OK. First of all, every other sport in this country has what seems to be more time-out time than actual playing time. In case you haven’t noticed, soccer players SPRINT for the best of 90 minutes of ACTUAL playing time. They only get a 15-minute half time between 45’s (That’s provided there is no sudden-death overtime situation).

Not only is soccer a full-contact sport, but it’s also a lot more respectable and enjoyable to play, watch, read and write about than Baseball ever will be (unless of course they force them all to stop wearing helmets … THEN things might be different). Speaking of, why do they wear helmets? I have never seen a ball or a bat or a person hit any player on his helmet. Please refrain from presenting a ball speed argument ... There's people out there who have to stand in the line-of-fire of an Andy Roddick serve. Is the answer:

A) Cosmetic reasons good disguise for baldness
B) To protect from Bird poo-poo
C) To macho-up the sport
D) To hide their cans of dip/ chewing tobacco
E) To hide Twinkies and lite-beer
F) UCK BASEBALL.

The only reason why soccer will never get big in this country is because they won’t be able to run Lite Beer ads every 2 minutes (which coincidently makes the baseball players fat … you see, it’s all related).

I can sit here and list why every other sport is ‘better’ than baseball in all dimensions. I.HATE.BASEBALL.

Note: But I’m a loving, sensitive and considerate individual otherwise.