Minimization: A Corporate Treasure

Orbitz (dot) com has been on my mind recently. I’ve heard a lot of mixed reactions about the company, mostly negative which is why I used (dot) and denied them the pleasure of a link. I know, how ruthless of me. The reason they have been on my mind is not particularly because of their (self-proclaimed) “Great Low Fares” – because in all honesty, I’ve found LOWER fairs on www.travelocity.com and of course the workingman’s favorite www.southwest.com.

So what could possess me to dedicate my Wednesday morning to these folks? I’ll tell you, it’s their (normally annoying) pop-up ad campaign. I love it. If you’ve never had the pleasure, Orbitz’s ad campaign consists of a series of interactive games that pop up when you visit certain sites. It’s quite illusive and I don’t know how to get it on-demand but I’ve had the most luck getting those games when I visit CNN (dot) com. I hate CNN, but again… the only reason I go there is so I can get my damn Orbitz game to pop-up.

The most common game that pops up is a 3-hole golf course. This one is fun; the aim is to direct your swing using your mouse and eventually CLICK to release the shot (which coincidentally takes you to the Orbitz website, but fret not … it only happens once, you can close their site afterwards).

The first hole, a par 2, is in the shape of an airplane. This is the easiest course and the hole is make-able in ONE shot.

The second hole, a par 3, is in the shape of a hotel. This is the hardest holes as there are cavities in the hotel representing the rooms, these cavities have arrows in them which could very possibly cause your ball to go astray. Normally, doable in the allotted 3 attempts but quite frequently you’ll get it in 2 shots.

The third hole, a par 2, is in the shape of a car. There are no physical barriers in between the ball and the hole yet this is a difficult course. I have always needed the two attempts to drop the ball in this hole. The reason is because there’s a patch/ an area of (apparently) sand with arrows going everywhere. If your ball goes in this area, you’re stuck in the sand. This leaves a very small window for you to release the ball and still avoid the sand.

The hockey game WOULD have been my least favorite (but there’s also baseball, so…).
The hockey game is pretty basic, there’s a lame goalkeeper careening from side to side while you attempt to direct the puck (with your mouse) and take the shot by clicking (again, a one time direction to Orbitz’s website). Sounds pretty lame huh? Well not exactly … you see, there’s a bunch of ‘protesters’ behind the goal and it’s possible (and encouraged) to hit them with the hockey puck. When you knock these people down, you get a bunch of cash as bonus.

Last is the dumbass baseball game. Truly uninspiring, lame, no added bonuses and you just click and aim for good timing. Hmm, I wonder why even stupid interactive computer baseball games suck? Could it be because the real sport sucks? I would definitely have to accept that as a viable explanation.

The Orbitz games are good for 5 minutes of fun. Some of them can be a little addictive, so if you check CNN at work, and happen to get a pop-up of golf or hockey, it’ll be terribly difficult to just close the window and LOSE that potential 5 minutes of entertainment.

So here’s what I do … ‘MINIMIZE IT’. We’ve all seen the marijuana campaign slogan, LEGALIZE it, on T-Shirts, caps etc …I’m hereby claiming this new corporate tomfoolery anthem ‘MINIMIZE it’. This would be applicable to personal email, porn sites (if you’re daring and sort of stupid), BLOGS (ahem… go ahead, MINIMIZE it) and last but not least, interactive games by opportunistic E-resell companies.

MINIMIZE it is not for your average pot-smoker though, there’s an ‘art’ that comes with it. You have your non work-related window open on TOP of something work-related, so when the boss walks by, you … what? MINIMIZE it. Say it one more time, what? MINIMIZE it. Preach it one last time, what? MINIMIZE it. Again for the folks who missed it, what? MINIMIZE it.

Note: WHEN will the damn web-based email companies catch on and start giving us interfaces that look like a Solidworks window or any Adobe program, Microsoft office, or even just a series of (fake) HIGH PRIORITY email messages? You know, as if the world is about to END (and you’re right there to stop it) but secretly, all you’re really trying to do is clean up your inbox from it’s LEVITRA overflow.
Today: Glass

This Just In ...

Sorry, I couldn't help but give those of you who have NOT put in a 'MINIMIZE IT' order something to think about. Here is the logo for 'MINIMIZE IT' (Ok fine, I was a little bored ... no orbitz games popped up today so I had to find another vice for my 5 minutes of entertainment). Think about it. Long and hard. And what? MINIMIZE IT.