WANTED: Men who take risks

Alright, so, I’ve been sucked into this black hole of online poker. Before you start grimacing and advising me on my gambling habits and self destructive personality traits … I should let you know that it’s entirely FREE … and it’s all in good fun. However, at stake, is a cool seat at the 2005 World Series Of Poker (the one they show on ESPN) – Which to be honest with you (and sorta humble), I KNOW I will win, and am already making arrangements for the event… you can put my words on record.

This is an 11 week promotion sponsored by Degree Men’s deodorant (which I happen to use). They got some pretty cool tag-lines, like this post’s title … and my personal favorite … DEGREE … for those ALL-IN moments.

The Way it Works:

Every Sunday, they have what they call a Sunday Qualifier. The Sunday Qualifier has about 1000 Players in it (give or take several). To make it into the Sunday Qualifier, you have to play during the week and accumulate ‘points’ that will enable you to buy into Sunday’s big tournament. The buy in for Sunday is 30 points. (Which can be collected a number of ways, but in my case, I gun for 5 hold ‘em tournament wins during the week, each giving you 6 points towards the Sunday buy in – total 30).

The top 50 Players from every Sunday qualifier move onto the big tournament in May (This is the one … this is IT, this is where they give out a FREE seat at the 2005 W.S.O.P. – Which is worth about 10,000 dollars of cash that my ass … doesn’t have).

So this past week, I was successful in accumulating 30 points and buying in for Sunday’s qualifier. I was looking forward to it, and definitely had high hopes for myself. I believe there were about 1400 players (which is an unusually high volume for Sunday, because it’s not that easy to get 30 points during the week). I ended up in 467th Place. I was of course, terribly disappointed … especially at the manner in which I was eliminated from the tournament (so so sad; I could write a book about it).

Given that it was my first bid at Sunday’s qualifier, I was definitely nervous, and didn’t know what to expect … the competition is a lot more cautious (understandably) and I wasn’t tuned to that, until it was too late. I got aggressive at times where I should have just stayed patient (which is my normal game). I felt confident in my suited couple (Q & J) … that I called someone who I thought was bluffing (and they were), they had 3 and a 7 or some ridiculousness … but somehow managed to pair up BOTH the 3 and the 7 on the flop… and to salt the wound, they got the boat with a final 3 on the river (eventhough the person had a nice flop, I managed to pull out a flush, but was devastated AGAIN come river time)
What Gives?!

Patience? I am probably one of the MOST patient people around. Just this weekend I was stuck behind an elderly gentleman walking out of a grocery store. I was very patient, waiting, slowly stepping, I didn’t want to do anything erratic like try to squeeze past the gentleman, or anything of the sort. The gentlemen's slow steps were interrupted by periods of chatter with other randoms/customers about what used to occupy this very spot they stood on circa 1940. (?!?!?!?!)

This one other time, I was also at the grocery store (a different one) and the people at the checkout line in front of me were taking forever, they kept telling the cashier… “This is two for One… This is Two for One.” And on about 3 separate occasions, the cashier had to leave her station, and go on the aisles to double check and see if the items were really “2 for 1” (they were NOT)! I did stay behind them for the whole entire ordeal, I could have just walked to another line … but I STAYED. I stayed partly because I had never seen anything like this before, this was one of the most fun “people watching” moments I’ve ever had … but I stayed mostly, because I’m patient.

I wanted to see if trying to score a free tub of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” would actually get you in some sort of legal trouble; or warrant an arrest at the very least … they have cops roaming around that place … sometimes it’s the Fake “Toy Cops” (as H.O.N. coined one night) … but sometimes it’s the real deal big baboons.

That’s beside the point though – Observing grocery store incidents are a good way to pass your time, but let’s get back to my poker face.

So … DRUNKcowboy512, UncleBilly, Goddfather1, El matador, MDterp, SunBlocked32 … and all the rest of you suckaz out there … I hereby VOW, to return (maybe not this coming Sunday, because I have things to do) but whichever Sunday I CHOSE to return … and knock this motha’ out.

I will keep you all updated on this.

Note: Kevopalooza was fun.