Culture Shock: Reloaded

WARNING: This post is of disturbing nature. If you are faint-hearted, please, do me a favor and stop reading now. Pansy.

I kid (do these types of warnings really work anyways?), I’m not writing about anything too terrible. I just have to share some feelings about the pragmatics of this blog. There are several reasons why I’ve kept this up for all of 20 days or so (maybe less? More? I don’t know) mainly the fact that I can get myself in a routine of writing. By nature, I think I’m definitely a nocturnal being, but that doesn’t work too well past your graduation day so … in an attempt to become more diurnal, I have been getting up early (what I consider early, 6:30-ish or so) and hitting the keyboards!

I was always under the impression that I can’t really think that early in the morning. It’s true; I still believe it takes me about 3 hours to fully wake up. Although, I must say that some days I surprise myself and my seemingly half-asleep body and mind come together and make sweet, sweet … babies (?)

Like with everything, there are advantages and disadvantages of this new “schedule”. For example, one advantage is that I get to work quicker than usual (and consequently leave quicker than usual, which gives me a longer evening and therefore more options for my evening).

Another advantage would be that I am expanding my means of creative outlet and at times I'm even getting some half-decent counseling from Microsoft Word M.D. (not that I need it).

So, after doing this (waking up early to write) for about 20 consecutive days, I have come to the conclusion that I do indeed have that discipline in me (to wake up early in the morning), so it’s not about discipline, it has now become about passion. I have ZERO passion for anything to do with the morning time. Such as (but not limited to):

The sun is too bright (I can’t see too well while I drive).

The water takes longer to warm up since you’re one of the first to tap into the building’s supply of hot water (Did I not already say that I was too particular for my own good when it comes to stupid little pointless things?)

I don’t photosynthesize, so even biologically, sunlight is useless to me. I know there are some studies about sunlight, UV rays and things of the sort affecting serotonin levels in the brain, but those are all just theories. Right?

Mainly, the biggest downside of waking up early in the morning is hearing the birds outside my window making too much of that noise they make. I recall having a conversation with someone who was “touched by the sound of birds chirping at the sun’s morning rays” (or something equally as poetic) and that was actually a reason for them to wake up every morning.

YUCK! You’ve got to be messin’ with me.

1) Its annoying

2) I ABSOLUTELY, positively, unequivocally ten-fold CANNOT stand birds, as a matter of fact I hate them, and on the overwhelming majority of occasions I am terrified to death of them. This includes ALL species, all ages and sizes. The sight (or sound) of a bird is the absolute worst thing that can happen to me (even the site of a dead bird or a tuft of feathers).

I’ve actually researched this “fear of birds” and it’s medically termed as ornithophobia: an abnormal and persistent fear of birds, encountering and even being attacked by birds although the patient may realize their fears are quite irrational. Irrational or not, I don’t care. Keep us apart.
('researched' makes you sound a lot more articulate and maybe a notch smarter, but we all know that 'researched' is the Queen's English term for it's American counterpart GOOGLED - which is also an official word).

The “Ornithologist” character from ‘H&R Fuck’ could never fathom why I passed up a chance to visit a banding station where they band & study BIG birds of prey such as, but not limited to, Hawks, Falcons and Eagles. Some of them have wing-spans of 6-8 feet. I honestly think I would rather get cooked in a slow simmering batch of feces (OK, maybe this post really is of disturbing nature & not suitable for the faint-hearted… Sorry!) But you get my point, it's not my thing.

The subject is deserving of an entire post, probably in 'BLAST mode' because I'm so passionate about it. If I’m feeling good, I might even throw in a few stories starting with my first encounter with a bird – which in all honesty is probably why I have always had this ‘irrational’ psychosis when it comes to birds. Hitchcock has NOTHING on this.

Happy Friday.

Note: I don't know why I titled this post Culture Shock: Reloaded - but it sounds cool enough for a Friday. It also sounds cooler than Culture Shock: Revolutions.